Thirty isn't the new 20 - it's a a million times better

Whether I thought I’d still be single at 30 isn't the point - I am, and I don’t regret it. I’ve had opportunities and experiences being single thus far in life that I wouldn’t trade for all the "I dos" in the world.

Many people I interact with in life have no idea what it’s like to be single and 30, so I just thought I’d share a few notes.

Being single at 30 is entirely different than being single in your 20s - that's early, mid and late 20s. If you haven’t experienced single at 30 for yourself, just know it’s not the same as the experience you had when you were in college and dating - or even 27 and dating. So many people don't seem to realize this simple fact, so keep it in mind.

How is it different? In some ways it’s better and in other ways it’s harder.

It’s better because I’ve grown and matured and am much more capable of processing things and dealing with issues than I used to be, and for that I am very thankful. When I was younger I didn’t trust God (it's just a word people - I'm talking about a higher power, which could very well exist inside yourself) as well and I wasn’t as grounded, so when something went bust it shook me up more than it does now.

I’m so thankful God uses experiences to help us grow and teach us, otherwise we’d never make it. The emotional rollercoaster that a relationship or even desire for a relationship can be has become much more tame, more like the teacups than, say, the scream-a-nator. I’m getting sick just thinking about it. So anyway, I’ll take a spin on the teacups any day! (The line's shorter, anyhow.)

It’s harder for a few reasons: the pool of available/datable guys is shrinking and so is the pool of close friends who are still single. Many (most) of my friends have moved on even from the newly-married stage to the baby-making stage. By no means am I saying they aren't still great friends, but there is something to be said for knowing others that are in the same life stage as you. And trust me, it's almost as hard to find new single friends to hang with as it is single men to date.

And then there's the old biological clock. Admittedly, this doesn't bother me nearly as much as some of the other single gals I know who are also in their 30s, but for them it’s like a constant nagging reminder that the older you get the more risky (generally) pregnancy will be, that you really want to be married for a couple of years before having kids and that maybe you’d better start doing something you’re not already doing so you can have that family you’ve always wanted before it’s too late.

(Side note: It bothers me when my single friends talk about feeling this way. In my opinion, it’s simply a matter of fate. They’re single right now because they’re meant to be (i.e. there is a good reason for it, though it may not be apparent currently) and, if they’re meant to have children, they will. Hence my dislike of the many fertility drugs and methods available to us these days. If you’re not meant to have kids – at any age – you’re not meant to have kids. It’s Mother Nature’s form of population control.)

So those are some of the ways that being single is different at 30. Please feel free to comment on what you might relate to or agree with, and what you might not.