Happily ever after

When I was 14 my friend's mom said she could predict when I'd get married. Plucking a piece of hair straight from my scalp and tying it to her gold wedding band, I watched with baited breath as she dangled the makeshift pendulum over a glass of water. The number of times the ring tapped the side of the glass indicated how old I'd be when I wed.

Twenty-nine taps. I turned 30 last year. I'm still single.

I know I'm not alone. There are plenty of other 30-something singles out there. What does concern me is how the pressure to pair up and procreate is more intense than ever. No, it’s not my mother nagging me for grandchildren or my friends wondering what’s wrong with me. It’s something else – something bigger than us all.

Every time I turn on the TV it seems like I’m exposed to yet another reality show following the life of a very famous (or a very short … or a very tall … or a very overweight) couple. Either that or it’s some impossibly large family (thank you fertility drugs) with parents who clearly couldn’t feed or clothe their brood without the financial support of TLC. The rare program that does portray a single always seems to do so with the same goal in mind: to get him or her engaged and married as quickly and efficiently as possible, as if being alone isn’t exciting enough fodder for a half-hour show – or, for that matter, happy enough an ending.

And what about the swarm of self-help literature out there with such promising titles as “How To Find & Marry Your Soulmate” and “The Roadmap to True, Lasting Love?” Those, along with celebrity gossip mags that have made engagement rings and baby bumps headline news and the vast virtual sea of Internet dating sites have got me completely convinced: couples still dominate the cultural landscape.

It really strikes me as strange; at a time when the social pressures to marry are more relaxed than they have been in the past (think “Leave It To Beaver” and earlier, when women pretty much had no other option but to snag a husband), why is there seemingly more importance placed on pairing off than ever before?

Like it or not, modern-day singles must endure a constant over-glamourization of coupling. It’s almost as if pairing up is seen as magical: once you find this person, your life will be transformed. And though a myriad of studies prove a rising number of singles out there, there’s still a stigma attached to going solo. Single people are seen as sadder, lonelier and less mature than their coupled counterparts (there must be something wrong with them).

I know everyone will have their own opinion, but to me it really doesn’t seem like society has even remotely started to accept singles. Almost the reverse seems to be happening: a return to big marriages, big weddings, big gowns and big diamond rings.

Not only that, the idea that single is a great way to live is not what I see being true. Think about the most famous single foursome of all time. As long as Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha were without men they were in constant search for that missing piece. Indeed, there was something about the way their lives – and their failure when it came to relationships – were portrayed that … well, to put it bluntly, necessitated the making of a feature film that would tie up all those pesky loose (i.e., single) ends.

But not all hope is lost. There are some great role models for singles to look up to. In Robert Munsch’s children’s book “The Paper Bag Princess,” Princess Elizabeth rescues Prince Ronald, her betrothed, from a dragon. In the process, however, the dragon’s fiery breath burns Elizabeth’s fancy gown, forcing her to don a brown paper bag. When she appears to Ronald he belittles her bedraggled appearance.

Elizabeth’s response to Ronald? “Your clothes are really pretty and your hair is neat. You're like a real prince, but you are a bum.”

The two don't marry after all.