Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A married woman and mother comments on Single in Society


I wanted to share this wonderful comment as a result of the post "Three Women and a Baby". We love hearing from singles as well as marrieds/mothers, so keep the conversation flowing! 

Anonymous said...

It was in fact MY HUSBAND who read your blog before I did and walked me arm in arm to the computer screen. He was moved by not only your articulate and colorful descriptions of your observations of society, but also your hopeful and open-minded conclusions. Apparently married men find single women's insights just as interesting as other single women!!

What thoughtful and challenging friends the two of you must be!! (wink wink!) 

As a new mother, I can completely relate to what you describe. What I find additionally interesting is how pockets of society craft "milestone norms" if you will, that are not in fact norms at all if one just steps outside of the postal code. They are really just comfort zones that women can somehow measure up to in times of uncertainty. Get married, don't, have a baby, don't, whatever makes you happy. I'll be happy that you are happy! 

Bravo to you both. I hope you will continue to shed light on both the real and perceived ideas of women in society in general and in the process of creating dialogue tear down these perceived norms and build lasting and supportive relationships amongst them.

OCTOBER 5, 2009 2:56 PM
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Thirty and *gasp* single

It started about five years ago. Everyone – and we mean EVERYONE – got married. Being in a university sorority meant we knew a lot of women – some as close friends, some as acquaintances and some simply as recurring names in the endless stream of gossip that permeated our lives as part of the so-called “Greek system.” Back then we were like all the other girls – crushing, flirting, dating, crying, begging, breaking up, getting back together, falling in and out of love and, from time to time, daring to dream of our future weddings. What would the dress look like? How many bridesmaids would we have? And – most importantly – who would the groom be? We were all travelling the same path at that time; all puzzling over the complexities and emotions of “being in a relationship;” all wondering (and worrying) – when would that wonderful, white day, with its “I dos” and promises of everlasting love and happiness, come?

And then we came to that big, fat intersection. You know the one. You can either take a right, hit cruise-control and coast down scenic Wedding Way, where the sun shines and the birds sing and all the floral arrangements match the place settings or hang a left, shift into four-wheel drive and do your darndest to navigate Lonely Lane, a rocky, winding, unpredictable route fraught with potholes, landmines and seats at the singles’ table (it’s the one at the back of the room, in case you didn't know). Read more.