So where will we be getting off together?

As a single girl in society, I always have my eyes out for hot boys. One interesting place that I have found is in the elevators. I recently moved into this very cool downtown apartment and being on the 17th floor, I get to see lots of people come in and out of the elevator. The building that I live in is full of young, good looking people but the boys especially are very cute, so much so that it has prompted me to work on my elevator conversation.

Now elevator conversation is not an easy thing to master, first of all there is not a lot of time to make an impression. Especially since all the really hot boys seem to live on the 5th floor. It can be rather stressful trying to think of something to say in those few seconds to the ground floor.

Secondly, there is not much topic for conversation. It’s not like you are in a coffee shop or standing in line at the grocery store where you can make some offhanded comment about how long the line is or why that man in front is quacking like a duck. The elevator can be quite restrictive and I always find myself standing awkwardly in the corner desperately trying to come up with something witty to say.

Last time I was in there, I just decided to strike up a conversation with a random person. He wasn’t a hot boy so there was no pressure there but he seemed nice enough that I could get some elevator convo practice in. I generally try to avoid chatting about the weather or sports as those are particularly mundane (and cheesy) topics to me. I think I might have asked this guy where he got his pizza from. I figured that with enough practice, when the time came that a hot boy walked into the elevator, I would be so well versed and have a repertoire of conversation to choose from that he couldn’t help but be smitten by me.

Once nice thing about this building is that there are lots of people with dogs which are always an easy topic of conversation. It really is a great icebreaker when you are able to ask the person to please have their dog stop licking my crotch.

I have noticed though that if you carry random items in your hands, you don’t need to say anything at all and people will in fact strike up a conversation with you. The other day I was carrying McDonalds and toilet paper and someone commented on my choice of provisions, to which I replied “Yup Whistler girl’s weekend. McDonalds to get rid of the hangover and toilet paper to get rid of the McDonalds” (Note: Will not be making such inappropriate comments to hot boys).

I think the next time there is a hot boy in the elevator, I will come walking in holding a watermelon and a jar of pickles. And if all else fails I could always “accidentally” push the elevator stop button right?

– Sonya