Thursday, August 20, 2009

The (not so) hard and fast rules of dating

They're ubiquitous in the dating scene: I only date guys with blue eyes; no bad tattoos; no sex for the first 90 days; I only date men with beards. Rules may help daters weed out the duds, but experts say they can also shutter windows of opportunity. More...

I read this article in the Globe & Mail about a month or more ago and it struck a chord with me. In living by some dating rules, are women really missing out on something special? In the age of online dating, where women receive numerous emails daily, how does one sort through the clutter to find the prize? Do they not have to construct some boundaries or pre-requisites just to manage their time? Items such as the desire to have children and/or career aspirations are easy categories to filter. It allows women the opportunity to focus their time on men who are more likely to be a possible match. Even if that is overgeneralizing, how can a woman possibly sort through all of her messages if she does not have some sort of classification system? So, I'm putting the question out there...should women have steadfast rules of dating? What should they include (or not include)?

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Thirty and *gasp* single

It started about five years ago. Everyone – and we mean EVERYONE – got married. Being in a university sorority meant we knew a lot of women – some as close friends, some as acquaintances and some simply as recurring names in the endless stream of gossip that permeated our lives as part of the so-called “Greek system.” Back then we were like all the other girls – crushing, flirting, dating, crying, begging, breaking up, getting back together, falling in and out of love and, from time to time, daring to dream of our future weddings. What would the dress look like? How many bridesmaids would we have? And – most importantly – who would the groom be? We were all travelling the same path at that time; all puzzling over the complexities and emotions of “being in a relationship;” all wondering (and worrying) – when would that wonderful, white day, with its “I dos” and promises of everlasting love and happiness, come?

And then we came to that big, fat intersection. You know the one. You can either take a right, hit cruise-control and coast down scenic Wedding Way, where the sun shines and the birds sing and all the floral arrangements match the place settings or hang a left, shift into four-wheel drive and do your darndest to navigate Lonely Lane, a rocky, winding, unpredictable route fraught with potholes, landmines and seats at the singles’ table (it’s the one at the back of the room, in case you didn't know). Read more.