Hey Singles! Ever thought of pursuing an office romance?

Office liaisons can lift hearts?or just raise eyebrows | Article | Homepage articles

I have never had any interest in pursuing anyone in the workplace, but I am not against it as long as good judgment is used. I once had two co-workers who are now married. We didn't even know they were in a relationship until he quit and proposed to his office romance. 

There is truth, regardless of age or generation,that our personal and professional lives are blurring more and more. As long as we manage our online and and in-person "footprint", I don' think there should be anything wrong with dating in the workplace. What do you think?

If you are already pursuing a workplace relationship, check out these tips on how to 

Conceal An Office Romance.

Happy dating!

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Poker face or big blind?

I went on my first date at 16 years of age. That means I have had 14 years -- nearly half my life -- to perfect the art of dating. I would like to think that I have matured during this time. I know how to play the game and while I would rather not, I know it is a must for the beginning of a courtship. Guys know this too and unfortunately most of them have spent their dating life figuring out how to read their cards and call our bluff.

The movie -- "He's Just Not That Into You" -- actually spoke to me. I feel it was one of those rare instances that a true chick flick provided me with a higher purpose and understanding. It is absolutely true -- he is just not that into you if he doesn't call you within a couple of days; he is just not that into you if he isn't willing to forego a night with his buddies to see you and he is just not that into you if you are doing the chasing and no one is chasing you.

There are many women who are looking for a fling. They crave the chase, they love the instant gratification and yearn for the physical contact. In most cases, any semblance of there being a legitimate relationship is non-existent and their interactions are entirely based around sex. I am not condemning the act. In fact, I think at this age we are entitled and justified to do whatever we want in that department without anyone judging us.

What happens though when what was supposed to be a fling sparks some deeper feelings -- at least on the part of the female player? She grows fond of him and hopes that they have enough of a connection for further feelings to grow. She texts to say that she is thinking of him, she drops plans with her friends to be there and all the while, she is losing sight of all the wonderful qualities she has to offer.

The problem, however, is that she is the chaser and not the chasee. She is the one texting him, she was the one suggesting they get together and unfortunately, by advancing their sexual relationship so early on, she was the one who destroyed any possibility for there to be a long term relationship. It is plain and simple. He is just not that into her.

So what makes us women want to invest in a relationship if the guy has not reciprocated any of the feelings or behaviour? Is it the need to have a warm body next to us? Is it fear that there isn't another fish in the sea? Or is it trying to validate our own insecurities by convincing ourselves that he must feel the same way -- he just doesn't show his true feelings?

To women everywhere I just want to say *WAKE UP*! We have played the game, we know the players, we have mastered the rules and we are cognisant of the risks. We have even upped the ante in our thirties as we can't fein the ignorant bliss of a dating virgin. A hook up will not turn into true love, and, no matter how hard we try, we cannot make a guy like us. That being said, we are worth so much more than that. If you are looking for a fling, then go out and get one. It isn't too hard. But if you are looking for romance, for the one who will give you shivers twenty years from now and the one who will call you the very next day, we have to change our outlook and approach. The stakes are high but the jackpot is priceless. It's your choice.

So where will we be getting off together?

As a single girl in society, I always have my eyes out for hot boys. One interesting place that I have found is in the elevators. I recently moved into this very cool downtown apartment and being on the 17th floor, I get to see lots of people come in and out of the elevator. The building that I live in is full of young, good looking people but the boys especially are very cute, so much so that it has prompted me to work on my elevator conversation.

Now elevator conversation is not an easy thing to master, first of all there is not a lot of time to make an impression. Especially since all the really hot boys seem to live on the 5th floor. It can be rather stressful trying to think of something to say in those few seconds to the ground floor.

Secondly, there is not much topic for conversation. It’s not like you are in a coffee shop or standing in line at the grocery store where you can make some offhanded comment about how long the line is or why that man in front is quacking like a duck. The elevator can be quite restrictive and I always find myself standing awkwardly in the corner desperately trying to come up with something witty to say.

Last time I was in there, I just decided to strike up a conversation with a random person. He wasn’t a hot boy so there was no pressure there but he seemed nice enough that I could get some elevator convo practice in. I generally try to avoid chatting about the weather or sports as those are particularly mundane (and cheesy) topics to me. I think I might have asked this guy where he got his pizza from. I figured that with enough practice, when the time came that a hot boy walked into the elevator, I would be so well versed and have a repertoire of conversation to choose from that he couldn’t help but be smitten by me.

Once nice thing about this building is that there are lots of people with dogs which are always an easy topic of conversation. It really is a great icebreaker when you are able to ask the person to please have their dog stop licking my crotch.

I have noticed though that if you carry random items in your hands, you don’t need to say anything at all and people will in fact strike up a conversation with you. The other day I was carrying McDonalds and toilet paper and someone commented on my choice of provisions, to which I replied “Yup Whistler girl’s weekend. McDonalds to get rid of the hangover and toilet paper to get rid of the McDonalds” (Note: Will not be making such inappropriate comments to hot boys).

I think the next time there is a hot boy in the elevator, I will come walking in holding a watermelon and a jar of pickles. And if all else fails I could always “accidentally” push the elevator stop button right?

– Sonya

The following is a public service announcement ...

If Martians (male ones, of course) were to land on Earth, they might make the following assumption: women drew the short straw in life, enduring monthly periods, PMS, childbirth and menopause, all the while producing more hormones than they, or anyone within arm’s-length, can handle.

And, if the aliens were to focus in on a single woman in her 30s, they may come to the conclusion that the agony of being female doesn’t end there. At this point in life she’s in a race against time to meet a man, fall in love, get him to fall in love her, move in together, get married, have a baby (the latter two in no particular order as long as they happen) and live happily ever after.

After reveling footloose and fancy-free in her 20s, from the day she hits 30 her carefree attitude screeches to an abrupt halt. Mother Nature is suddenly occupying all her thoughts and her biological clock is ticking faster and faster as each day, month and year passes with no sign of “the one” entering her life anytime soon.

Of course, for the 30-something single men of Earth this isn’t a concern – nature gave them the choice to put fatherhood on hold, worry-free, until their 40s, 50s or even 60s. They’re busily dating and consciously staying single until later in life because they know when the time is right (for them), reproduction won't be a problem.

None of the above observations were made by extraterrestrial beings. It’s a sad fact that our own society portrays 30-something single men and women completely differently. The women are labeled “expired goods” while the men are given accolades and told to enjoy their freedom while they can. Although TV programs like Sex in the City helped to change people’s opinions of single women over 30 in some regard, the fact remains that if we want children the natural way (i.e., no sperm donor), we need a man.

With no sight of Mr. Right on the horizon, she feels pressure from herself and those around her (even if they don’t say so out loud) to get on it and meet the father-to-be of her unborn offspring. Her parents either nag her or shoot worried looks across her head at each other, anxious she’ll be left alone after they’re gone. Her friends offer to fix her up with just about any man who’s single – height, weight and chemistry not being factors in the equation whatsoever. And then there are the snickering colleagues, who rib her and suggest she “switch teams.” (Yes, this has actually happened to some of us.)

What’s a 30-something single girl to do? According to well-meaning friends and family, she may want to lower her standards some, accept that not everyone is perfect and compromise and her list of must-haves for a man. She should put things in perspective and ask herself, does it really matter if his shoes suck? Does that eminent bald spot mean he won’t be a great dad? Is it really a big deal he still lives with his parents?

She also needs to – they say – put herself in check. No talking about babies and marriage in the early stages of dating. Men already know what women in their 30s want – if he smells the slightest whiff of desperation beyond that societal stigma, he’ll take off running for the hills.

And what about looking for love in the wrong places? She’ll never find a man at the bar, her friends say while nursing their babies and staring adoringly at husbands they met at a Sigma Chi fraternity party back in college. Why not meet someone at the office, through friends or go online? (Like she hasn’t thought of any of those options before.)

How come when a woman turns 30, she’s supposed to throw all her standards, all her dreams and all the things she holds important out the window? In your 20s you’re free to find him however you like, hold him to the highest standards and tell him it’s your way or the highway. As soon as you hit the big three-oh, though, you must change yourself to snag a man, any man.

It’s the million-dollar question people, and we want to hear what you have to say about it.